none without purpose

My body is stressed. I can feel it and I can see it (my thumb was shaking uncontrollably while trying to scroll through my iphone today) Isn't it crazy how our thoughts and feelings manifest themselves in physical ways?! There is so much going on in my little world right now. Some happy, Some sad, but none without purpose.

I have always been a woman of great faith. Never doubting the reasoning behind the happenings in my life. Today I doubted though. My mind began spinning as I ran through all that I am facing... doubt is such an ugly ugly thing. 

James says "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, without doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind." Today I have fully been riding a wave. A crazy, loud, out of control wave... As my head was spinning and thumb shaking I kept thinking "what on earth is happening to me!?!" this went on most of the day. It was not until this evening when the house was quiet and I was doing the dishes that I heard that still small voice "do you not trust me? have I ever let you down? do you believe in my love? I am in control.  have peace" And just as quickly as the stress came on, it disappeared to an overwhelming peace. 

The pit in my stomach is gone. 

I am no longer dizzy.

My thumb is still. 

Why do we ever doubt? It's such a waste of time. 

Tonight when Andy took Alomae on a little date to get frozen yogurt I even meant to ask him to stop by new seasons for me and pick me up some Rescue Remedy to help calm me down. I forgot to. Little did I know that God had his own rescue remedy in mind. 

His healing power far surpasses that of any herb, tincture, or medication.

Friends, are you doubting? Are you afraid? I was! Times are hard. I know we want to know the reasoning of why everything happens all the time, but the truth is, we are not meant to. Some things are meant to stay a secret to protect us and to increase our faith. Relinquish control and let go of fear. It is then that we can fully hear and fully see. And remember, none of this is without purpose, even if it's the hardest thing for you to believe...