Ever find yourself waiting? of course you do! Ever find yourself waiting for something and you are not even quite sure what that thing you are waiting for even is? well, thats me.
I am in a strange season right now. I feel as if we are headed somewhere and into something great, but I am so uncertain and in the dark as to what that something is. It's like we are on the cusp of something super special but have yet to get the okay from the Lord to dive on in!
I wish I could share that we had this amazing vision and have grand plans for whats ahead, but the truth is, we just don't. I search and pray, search and pray, and then do the same some more, and still we do not know what is around the bend.
Today I was reading in Mark and was silenced by the words that I read. It's words I have read time and time again but today I was in the posture to hear the words with a clear mind and pure heart and to receive them over mine and my families lives. Jesus spoke to this season of life and gave me a glimmer of what our focus should be, which was all about how it's not about me! He said "You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns... whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will have it."
Have you heard these words before? I am sure you have... today I sit here thinking "what if, what if I actually owned these words over my life? left my comfort zone? was willing to go or do whatever God is leading us to? What if I took on Gods concerns over my own? Denied myself? what if..."
Man! Could Jesus really be possibly calling us to live out those words and own them as the purpose of our lives? Do you think He would ask us to really do these things??
YES!
and this fact makes me excited and terrified all in the same breath. I am ready to embark, to journey wherever he wants me. I want to take on His heart, His mind, His love, His character. I do not want to just be comfortable, I want to have life!
Are you here with me? In a similar season? If so my friends, can I encourage you to wait with great expectation for the life he promises to give! He never says it's gonna be fun or easy, in fact Jesus compares it to following him into one of the most painful deaths known to man! But with that death to self comes a life that is far more then the simplistic views on life we are taught to have!
I am still in the dark about what is ahead and I very well may be for quite some time! Gods sense of time is quite different then ours. He sees the whole picture, is focused on establishing the characters, and is working on my best spot into this storyline of life.
So until these things are revealed to me, I will continue to wait! pray, listen, love, learn to deny myself... and again, WAIT!
