A letter to my girls.

Am I the only one that sometimes feels overwhelmed with the world we are currently raising children in and the influence it has? Now don't get me wrong, I fully understand that people have always been a bit crazy and they always will be, but whew, the responsibility I have as a mother to guide my girls properly and give them the the right perspective on how to decipher what is right and wrong, true and false, gospel and not, is just a really really big deal.

So here are my thoughts. As I sit here at 30, processing all I hear and see, here are just a few things  I want to say and influence those two beautiful girls asleep in the next room...


My girls,

I hope to always start everything I pass onto you with Love. I know I do not always do this by example, but I always want pure love to be the driving force in all that I and all that you do. The reason why love is so important is because love covers! It covers the good AND the bad. It's not up to us as to whom we love and to what degree we love, we are simply and clearly called to love. Even when you are tired of loving and feel like you have no more love to give, still I say, love!

Throughout your entire life you are going to see things that you do not agree with. Something you must know though is, there is a difference between an injustice and disagreement. You cannot fight every battle nor should you try and let your opinion be known in every thing that rubs you the wrong way. Know when to turn the other cheek and when to stand up for the one who has had their voice taken away. Save your energy for the things that are really important so that when you do speak up, the people around you will listen!

You have the ability to create beauty in yourself and in others. By the way you speak and the way you listen, you have the power to raise someone up (and the same power to tear them down). You have been created in the very image of the living God and to see yourself as anything less then is a shame. No you are not perfect, and sometimes your imperfections will be more obvious then others, but more importantly then the way you see yourself, I want you to see the way God sees you through Jesus. True beauty shines so bright through the understanding and ability to see yourself and others through eyes that are far more gracious, pure, and enlightened then your own.

More then anything I want you two to be gracious, generous, empathetic, loving, true, just, and kind. I want you to take on the heart of your maker and have the ability to see his people through a glimpse of the lens that he sees. I so desire for you to be slow to speak and really weigh your words carefully for they have so much power to build and destroy. Recognize the influence you have to breathe life and to share the hope I pray you will grow to know well. Changes of the heart do not come from being attacked and belittled, but come when we extend the grace we have been given, especially when it is not deserved.

Be slow to anger, quick to forgive and always always be ready and willing to love and love well!

You create beauty with your attitude, your behavior, your actions (it's all up to you).

I am already so proud of you!

your mama


Our kids are going to hear MANY MANY voices in their days, make sure yours is one they know they can always always trust and come to!

into the woods

We did a little family photo shoot a few weeks ago with two gals I just love to pieces. Lauren has quickly over the past couple years, become one of my best friends. She is kind, real, creative, real, fun, real... All the things that make me tick! We are pretty like minded on a lot of things and it makes being her friend effortless and fun! Lauren styled the shoot, I swear with just me in mind! (did I tell you we have the same taste!)  and the wonderfully sweet and fun Caroline took the photos! 

It was kind of a crazy time as Poppy did not want to sit still and carried around a minnie mouse lip gloss the entire time, but somehow Caroline managed to get some really cute photos of us! 

reading (or am I just trying to keep poppy from running away?!)

the only way to get Poppy in the shot sitting still... allow the lip gloss! haha

close up!

kissing under the mistletoe

loving on my big girl

love how tender Andy is with his girls

me and my man

tangled in lights

just a real life moment

getting squeezed

more k-i-s-s-i-n-g

beautiful girl

cozied up with our first born (while poppy is off somewhere with her lip gloss)

looking out on the city we love

PDX

up close with Poppy

Thank You so much Lauren & Caroline for being patient and good sports working with this crazy crew! I adore you two so much!

tree

Man, Thanksgiving was LATE this year. Usually I am not so overly zealous to get our tree but being that it was really almost December,  we decided to take advantage of the dry Saturday and venture out!

Dont get me wrong, I love love love getting our tree! I just like to celebrate one Holiday at a time :)

beautiful poppy in a sea of trees

sweet baby wonderer

family shot on the hayride out to find our tree

 can this girl get any prettier?!? 

Daddy giving me a funny wink (love pops in the background!)

anxious to cut!

Alomae hugging the tree after Daddy cute it down!

And oh my is our tree big. It did not look so big in the woods, but in our little house it is grand! I just LOVE the girls ages right now and how fun these little adventures are.

heart attack

I have always known she was a performer. but this took it to a new level!

Rubies are a girls best friend

The day after Alomae was born, my dad drove down from Seattle to meet his new girl!
My dad (aka Papa Jimmy) has always been the sentimental type and brought her a pair
of real Ruby earrings for when she was ready to get her ears pierced. (the ruby is suppose to represent her birthstone which is really garnet- but it is a little more brownish red in color and my dad didn't think that was little girl pretty)

Anyways, today she was talking about Rubies and I pulled down her earrings from their special hiding spot and let me tell you, girl was in HEAVEN. Immediately she started telling Andy and I how much she wanted her ears pierced. I knew this day would eventually come, but I waited a little while to see if she would drop the subject or forget altogether. She did not.

So off we were to the piercing studio to transform MY baby into even more a little girl.

They were so so good to her! If you live in the Portland area, the people of Adorn are so amazing with little kids.

I could go on and on about how it went but mama had her phone handy so here is how it went down!

having Andy there was the best! He wanted to make sure she really wanted to do it so he read each line of the consent form to her, had her initial, and then sign her name at the bottom!

posing of course! 

cleaning off her ears

still happy

nervous! best daddy ever!

initial poke

oh that face!

hands!

realizing he was coming for the other ear

but its gonna hurt!

getting the other side done! I was afraid we were gonna walk out with just one!

seeing them for the first time!

the finished result!

wow! what a day. I feel like my baby has grow up so much...

the birth of Poppy. video style!

So, Poppy is two now... but I feel it is never too late to help the fight to normalize birth!

When I was pregnant with her I had all these grand plans of how my home birth would go. A beautiful lit room, warm tub, light music, candles lit. All setting the tone for a beautifully edited video that would capture the moment we got to meet our sweet girl! Well...candles were lit and the music was playing... :)

Poppy Grey just came too darn fast! from my first contraction to the last was one hour flat! There was not an extreme intensity that told us her birth was near either. Nope, just some easy breathe through contractions and me chit chatting away and then BOOM!

Andy did have his iphone handy during this anticlimactic (or so we thought) time. So now today, these clips have given birth to my very own, badly edited, poor quality, birth of my sweet baby girl into our tiny, shallow, luke warm tub!

by far one of the best days of my life!

Enjoy :)

disclaimer: I am having a baby here but nothing overly graphic is shown(that is her head sitting there for awhile) . Oh and, do not try and watch in full screen, it makes the quality even worse!

you can read my entire birth story here

out of this funk. hope restored

I am kind of in a funk. a little rut. a place where everything feels just a bit blah. Maybe a slight state of confusion, a uncertainty of the unknown. I don't know, but whatever it is. I want out!

I know who supplies my Joy and my Hope. I know who holds my future and I love Him well. Sometimes though, it takes awhile for what you know in your head, to catch up to what you feel in your heart.

Sometimes life is just a bit hard.

Uncertainty and unknowns are hard; but in true Jesus fashion, just when those feelings become suffocating and too much to bare, he gives you a glimmer of hope, a glimpse into whats ahead, and somehow all light is restored! He just gives a little though, enough to bring peace but not so much that we start moving forward on our own accord.

I am sharing all this because I know I am not alone today in the need for a little bit of Hope. Look for Him and answers in all the obvious places, but don't be quick to write off the people He has placed in your life and in the mundane. Quiet your mind, reach out to friends, and don't push away what you know and feel to be true.

He is up to something. I promise.

4 going on 25

someday this little girl is going to be a real bride...

but for today, pretend is about as much as I can handle!

Halloween 2013

it was not even 8:00 am before Alomae was begging my to put her in full Dorothy costume

Poppy was suppose to be a cute little Munchkin but would not keep a single part of her costume on...

So by evening time, Dorothy was still Dorothy of course (though she did have a few wardrobe changes throughout the day)

and my munchkin became Punky Brewster!

Sometimes you gotta just throw all plans out the window and just work with what ya got.

Fun was had by all. Now I just need to make all the candy disappear (and not into my belly!)

two weeks of rest

we were able to take two and a half weeks off in October to rest and restore.

fot the first week we snuck off to Sunriver for some adventure!

Adventure came to us in an unexpected way when Andy decided to drive the Land Cruiser out onto the bank of a river which in reality was very deep, thick, quick sand like MUD.

we got stuck here for 3 hours in 25 degree weather and finally was rescued by an Angel of a white truck!

a pumpkin decorating contest happened

and a couple beautiful hikes

We had a great morning of corn mazing, horse carriage-ing, cotton candy eating, pony riding and the most AMAZING pumpkin donut I have ever had

there were plenty of moments at breweries and coffee shops as well

and of course lots of PLAY

During the next week Andy and I snuck to the Oregon game. it was such a treat to have an evening kid free!

Vacation was Awesome and I cannot wait to do it again. Taking that much time off back to back was LIFE GIVING and so very needed after a long and busy year!